Photo by Julien L
Written by Shahida Arabi, MA, psychopathology researcher
Female narcissists and psychopaths are maliciously envious of others, much like their male counterparts. However, the ways they treat women they are envious of tend to translate into vicious attacks that can be underhanded and demeaning, rooted in malignant projections and false accusations that are more indicative of their own behavior and character.
Here are four manipulation methods to watch out for if you suspect you are dealing with a female narcissist — whether friend, foe, colleague, or even stranger.
The “You’re Fake” Accusation
There’s nothing female narcissists and psychopaths love more than claiming that the achievements, natural beauty, and talents of the women they envy must be what they perceive to be “fake” or fraudulent in some way. They target organically successful and attractive individuals they are jealous of in an attempt to emotionally destabilize them. Whether it’s minimizing your success as luck, accusing you of being duplicitous and deceptive when you are authentic and empathic, claiming a beautiful woman must have had surgical enhancements when she’s had a history of having attractive features since youth, or attempting to detract from a woman’s long history of education and career advancement, the particular accusation is driven by jealousy of the traits, behaviors, and accomplishments they most covet in you. They envy the traits and qualities you naturally embody.
Within this malignant projection of their own fraudulent behaviors, there is a confession. They are telling you, “I could not possibly be this intelligent, talented, authentically caring, successful, talented, or beautiful — so how dare this other woman be?”
The “You’re Immoral” Projection
Female narcissists and psychopaths don’t just target friends and colleagues they know — they can even project onto complete strangers. This type of behavior is rampant on social media. When a female narcissist sees a beautiful, intelligent, successful woman existing whether in real life or on social media, they are motivated to viciously attack her — whether through smear campaigns, harassing messages, false accusations, or threats all while disguising their true motives.
Often, I hear stories from survivors of female narcissists who they have never met stalking and monitoring their activity on social media and online platforms, harassing them for no other apparent reason than jealousy.
When they engage in this conduct with complete strangers, it reveals how deeply rooted their envy is. They may claim they engage in this behavior to “expose” the woman they’re most jealous of — a woman they barely know. They may even try to depict women they’re jealous of as morally dubious and corrupt.
All of this behavior remains unprovoked, instigated by the female narcissist for what appears to be no reason at all. However, beneath the surface, there is a clear motive and agenda to punish a woman for to surpass them in their strengths, talents, popularity, intelligence, insight, and attractiveness. They gain sadistic pleasure and relieve a perceived ego threat when lashing out and retaliating against innocent women who they see as “above them” in some way.
The “I Am You” Identity Theft
Female narcissists and psychopaths don’t just mimic or imitate the qualities and achievements they admire in you — they strive to “morph” into you, copying facets of your identity…