Written by psychopathology researcher Shahida Arabi, MA
Narcissistic and psychopathic partners can engage in calculated manipulation methods to diminish their partners and their self-image, and these psychologically abusive relationships can take a toll on both the mind and body.
After love bombing their targets heavily with flattery and praise to get them addicted to and accustomed to their validation, narcissists often start fixating on perceived flaws or shortcomings of their partners to instill insecurities in them, pit them against other romantic prospects to invite derogatory comparisons, or manufacture flaws that don’t exist at all.
This is akin to metaphorically placing a funhouse mirror in front of their victims to make them view themselves in a negative or skewed light. Survivors of narcissists often do not see themselves accurately in a romantic relationship with a narcissist because they are led to believe in their perceived (often false) shortcomings or to feel constantly on-edge and off-kilter due to attempted jealousy provocation, comparisons, nitpicking, gaslighting, and minimization.
This can lead survivors to engage in compulsive “checking” behaviors to ensure such flaws don’t exist, an obsessive preoccupation with appearance, and a heightened inner critic that may contribute to body image issues or exacerbate pre-existing body dysmorphia.
This type of distortion can lead an abuse victim to develop a distorted self-image that doesn’t reflect their true self accurately. As victims internalize this distorted self-image, this could then result not just in a variation of body dysmorphia but also, in some cases, disordered eating or eating disorders in an attempt to manage the effects of the abuse and trauma symptoms they are experiencing and to counter the negative policing and degradation they’ve experienced. Research shows that there is a high comorbidity between PTSD and eating disorders. As a researcher, I’ve also found a significant association between being in a romantic relationship with someone high in narcissistic traits and PTSD symptoms related to the relationship.
One possible way individuals who are in such relationships might react to the stress of their trauma symptoms is through disordered eating or other maladaptive attempts to regain control over their bodies during times of perceived powerlessness…