Are You Experiencing Countering? 5 Signs of this Abuse Tactic
Have you heard about the abusive method known as countering? Countering is an abusive method where a toxic individual chronically opposes and expresses antagonism toward your thoughts, feelings, ideas, interests, opinions, perceptions, likes, dislikes, emotions and experiences you express either excitement or concern about.
When narcissistic individuals use countering to manipulate you, they do so not because they genuinely feel a certain way or strongly about any particular subject, but rather because they want you feeling perpetually off-kilter and on the defense. This leaves you exhausted and drained on a daily basis so that you are less able to fight back against ongoing abuse and manipulation, and less able to trust yourself.
When you are conditioned by frequent countering in an abusive relationship, you feel unable to express yourself. You are silenced, made to feel like you have to walk on eggshells just to have a right to exist, react, and respond genuinely to the world around you without this toxic individual nitpicking and criticizing your perspectives.
They will also move the goal posts frequently so their opinion changes based on what you feel and believe, just to oppose you.
Essentially when narcissists use countering as an abuse tactic, they’re programming you to ask for permission to be yourself.
Thank you so much! This is very helpful!
I have someone in my life who has done this to me for 13 years. What is the best way to respond.